Life is fucking hard yet I’ve never been more content in the moment. Being through so much in life, as you know if you have listened to the show and my story or if you are going through your own shit in life.
You get it, like totally get it.
I have been pulled in so many crazy directions in the past years, 4 to be exact since K entered kindergarten. Searching for the perfect business so that I could have more time for my kiddo has certainly been a job in itself. It’s been a ridiculous ride of emotions and fights (in my own head). Some worked and some did not.
I gave up a position in a job I LOVED to be more of a stay at home momma. I was working a 50 hour+/week job, that by the way, I loved (did I say that already, oh yeah, I did)
I wanted to be around for her and not miss a thing that was going on in her life. I loved to learn, workout, was fascinated by nutrition and then came across The Institute of Integrative Nutrition. I jumped all in.
I was loving each and every minute of the classes and projects. When I graduated a year later I was ready to go all in. Yet I wasn’t! I still had this job that at the time (the only time) was giving me problems. I used that as an excuse to step down and give up something I loved. I was brainwashed, I feel.
Lesson learned: I don’t need to give up something I loved for my daughter, just work on what makes me happy in the moment without dwelling on the future of what may be
We don’t realize that the health and wellness and self-development field can be a bit extreme and feel like a weight on us. It did for me and up until this year, that became clear. Don’t get me wrong, it’s all great and can be filled with unicorns and rainbows but YOU have to be ready for it. Your mindset needs work before you go posting all that happy shit. Otherwise, you are sucked into believing something you just don’t believe. You are FORCING a belief you desperately want to believe.
You have heard the word manifestation and are trying your best and wondering “what the fuck, I’ve been doing it all right, yet still nothing”. Yea you aren’t there yet my dear.
I can tell you, I have been through this and that’s when the word fuck became a daily word for me. I started to break out of the norm a lot more than I ever have before. That’s saying a lot because I always tried to stay far away from the norm, It was never me, to begin with.
I started with manifesting this past year and it has been working wonders, when I am focused and truly in line with what I want, meaning my heart is in it, when I believe it, not just want it bad.
You need to be all in, mind, body, and soul. If one part doesn’t believe, it just doesn’t work.
Make yourself believe one of these. Pick something you want but truly don’t believe:
I want to lose 20lb in the next 2 months
I want to find a job I am excited to go to each day
I want to work from home
I want to be happy in my relationship/marriage
Any success in even just thinking this could be true? It takes work!
No, right? It’s fucking hard to convince yourself of something if you just don’t believe. This was me with a successful and consistent stay at home business.
On the outside, I was convinced I was a true introvert. I wanted to stay home and be all alone with my computer and be able to support myself and my daughter. Just this year after doing even fewer hours at my job (that I love) to do more at home, it became SUPER clear that it just wasn’t me. I was craving the interaction and the conversations with people that I had at my job. Who knew? Not me!
Since then, I’ve started to revisit why I thought I wanted that whole work at home experience. I’ve started doing a lot more work outside the home because my old reasons were not adding up to me anymore. I want to be out there. Although I still want to teach as well and podcast.
So I am now at this kind of standstill. Taking a break is ok. I have to tell myself that, to get through. Getting pulled in different directions means you aren’t yet doing what is resonating with your heart, In my opinion. And keep in mind, for many this is a forever changing thing. Just go with the flow and you learn to adjust and go with the punches.
This is not the end because I am super involved with self-help and I do love to share and teach it. Since I have been through so much in the past 4-5 years and have learned so much I do intend to share that more with you, but in a different way, possibly with a partner.
The pod may take a break and a new direction, with more awesome stories and content to open your mind and soul to.
I have plans and fun ones, but taking the time to get it good will take time.
Enjoy your holiday season and winter, hopefully with some snow, not too much.