I am not perfect nor do I want to be. That’s a whole lot of fucking pressure.
Today I had a revelation. In the mirror today after I showered, I realized how much I love my body and mind and life for what it is.
I am perfect for me, for my standards and not for what I think others might think because ultimately, no one else gives two shits. Everyone else is worried about themselves and in my opinion, this needs to stop because it’s eating away at our lives. Imagine what else you could accomplish in the time that you are taking to worry about fat, calories, carbs when your next workout is and all that bullshit!
You could help a friend, you could take a long walk, you could read a book, you could I don’t know, fill in the blank. You could find a job that you love and fulfills you instead of staying stuck in a job that treats you like shit on a shoe.
I used to judge myself on so many levels that it was exhausting. It became my life. It sucked and it made me into this self-involved bitch that didn’t look outward. I was trying to always keep up, keep fit, eat the “right” things to prevent any sort of disease. I was creating more pressure!
Seriously, what I really want has been in front of me all along. A wonderful daughter who adores me, a loving family, great job, great friends (who don’t judge, out loud at least). I have a house to live in and food on the table. I have my health and a brain that doesn’t want to stop learning.
Greedy huh? No! I am taking in all the positive energy and negative energy around me and finally turning it into a life that I desire so much. Negative energy doesn’t mean that your life is a big black hole. It just means that you need to find a way to use it properly. I cry, isolate myself (that’s how I deal sometimes), get out for a walk, take a bath, work more, whatever I am feeling at that moment. Release that fucking energy!
For the longest time, really a long time, like 7 years I pushed away any feelings that I could have had towards another person. I am in a new place but that took a long time. 7 years I said.
When you least expect it and your mind and soul is ready because you have been taking the time for yourself, is when something amazing will happen. When the amazingness (i made up that word) happens, it fits, it feels right, its a fucking walk in the park.
Creating a life you love, one that feels wonderful and fits like a glove takes time. We are so used to instant gratification and that’s just dumb dumb. Things don’t happen overnight and not even in years, like MANY years.
When you are finally ready to accept the shit in your life, deal with it, and move on, this is when things happen. Don’t expect wonderfulness to just fall into your lap cause honey that ain’t happening.
Be real with yourself and get off the “I’m a loser train” or “why does this always happen to me train” cause it will continue that way and then you’ll just end up a pathetic mess. I was there, it’s no fun.
I’m not saying to be happy when you’re not, I’m just saying to understand that nothing will ever be just perfect, you need to know what you got and why it’s good and to constantly work on that mind of yours. You can seriously change a lot of your thoughts with dedication, persistance hard work.
I did, what’s stopping you.